The Differences between Women and Men

It is often said (usually by women) that men are inconsiderate, lack perception and sensitivity, and are not particularly observant (they are often downright obtuse and dense). It can be difficult to believe that women and men could be so different, not just on the physical level. I have never professed to being a master of understanding the female mind, but along the way you pick up a few thoughts and realise a few things about them that makes them tick differently to men.

One basic truth: women and men are different. So benefit from my knowledge, and maybe even use it to your advantage as I expose the non-obvious differences between women and men.

• Women - toilet seat down, Men - toilet seat up.
• Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
• Women have a ready-made excuse to be cranky once a month.
• Women fall in love, men just lust.
• For men foreplay comes before fiveplay.
• Both women and men think with their head, the man’s though is below his shoulders.
  Women want equality, men want to know what the hell’s going on!
• How many females open the doors for guys? Or buy guys drinks?
• Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
• Good guys go home alone, bad guys go to prison.
• Men have flu, women have colds.
• Men don’t get headaches.
• Women control the bedroom, ask any man.
• Men are biologically incapable of letting a women light a barbecue.
• Men warm their posteriors at the fire, women do not.
• Women’s posteriors enable them to sit comfortably on the floor, men’s do not.
• Women’s bank balances are never over-drawn, rather under-deposited.
• A woman with credit card charges like bull.
• Single-tasking men do one thing well at a time: e.g. drink a cup of coffee. In the same time a single-tasking women can make breakfast, make the children’s sandwiches, organize the window cleaner, phone the office, dress the children, write shopping list, iron a shirt and de-flea the cat. Women have not yet realised this is an evolutionary disadvantage.
• Men drive to a party, women drive back.
• Women drive like they’re in a funeral procession, men like they want to be in the coffin.
• When a woman learns to understand a man she usually stops listening.
• Marriage - a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master’s degree!
• A woman never forgets the men she could have had, a man the women he couldn’t.
• A man who regularly visits his mother is a Mummy’s boy. A women who does the same is a good daughter.
• A man who has no difficulty in undressing an adult women will nevertheless prove iincapable of fitting a small child into a baby gown.
• A woman believes that visitors will be impressed by a clean house. A man believes that the visitors will be impressed with his large stereo.

Interesting. Who knows? But I thought it was common knowledge that women love men who share. It wouldn't surprise me at all that there are many emotional and psychological complexities here, and hidden, unknown variables, as with so many issues regarding both men and women. Wherever the truth lies in all these matters, men and women will never totally figure each other out. And it seems to me that that’s the way God planned it; how things should be. Without mystery, life would be pretty boring…