Basa-Basi

In Indonesia, you must have to do all the sweet talking, even though you just barely know the person. When you want to eat, you have to ask them if they want it so you can share it with them, but still you’ll get criticized if you do not show or not even trying to show any intention to do that.

It won’t be long before someone invites you to come over. Addresses and telephone numbers are exchanged. Then, when you show up, you may be embarrassed to experience that the hosts apparently had forgotten about the appointment.

Whenever your relatives, friends or neighbours see you arrive from somewhere, they ask you “Dari mana?” (“Where have you been?”) or every time they see you ready to go somewhere, they ask you “Mau ke mana?” (“Where are you going?”). When they see you sitting in your dining chair, with a plate of food in front of me, and a spoonful of rice in my mouth, they ask you “Baru makan nih?” (“Are you eating?”).

What is it? Is it being courteous, nosy or just annoyingly stating the obvious? These small talk and peculiar questions are called ‘basa-basi’. It means best with courtesy or conventional phrase of greeting. These Indonesian courtesies can be divided into three categories: positive courtesy, meaningless courtesy and cynical courtesy.

Which one is which? I think you have to be an Indonesian to truly understand the difference...