Thursday, August 31, 2006

Equal rights as Indonesian citizenship


Chinese-Indonesians, for so long, have been discriminated against in their own country of birth. Evi Mariani, a Chinese-Indonesian herself, explains that its time to claim equal rights as citizenship.

Time for Chinese-Indonesian to claim equal rights as citizenship

Evi Mariani, Jakarta, May 22, 2006
(The writer is a journalist at The Jakarta Post)

I am a Chinese-Indonesian, a member of the minority. But on top of that, I am an Indonesian. I am proud to be one despite the rampant corruption that has tainted the nation’s image.

For a person of Chinese descent like me, however, having the word Indonesian attached to my identity is not a matter of birthright. My family had to struggle to obtain our Indonesian status.

Indonesian citizenship is not a coveted status, to be honest. But we have nowhere to go. Tracing up the family tree, six out of my eight grandparents were born here.

As people of Chinese descent, my father and mother had to present legal evidence in the 1960s that they were Indonesians. At that time many Chinese-Indonesians fell victim to forged citizenship documents, including my father. He realized he had no valid documents after he married my mother in 1970.

Under Indonesia’s paternalistic legal system, all their children consequently had no citizenship, due to my father's fake papers. My mother, on the other hand, had valid papers.

To make a long story short, they faked a divorce just before their first child’s birth. They have four children. I am the third. We all have birth certificates saying that we are children born out of wedlock to a Chinese-Indonesian woman. That way, we legally became Indonesians, and legally became fatherless.

Just having citizenship documents, though, is apparently not enough for Chinese-Indonesians.

On the street, in public places, at school, some of us occasionally have the misfortune of having to prove that we are Indonesians.

So we try to keep a low profile in traffic and in public places. We don’t fight back. We give more money than anyone else every Independence Day, and we give bribes every time the authorities ask. In a nutshell, we don’t want trouble. We have seen how a traffic accident involving a Chinese person can set a city on fire.

Besides having nowhere else to go, many of us have somehow developed an acquired taste for being Indonesian after seeing both the dark and the bright side.

My parents in Bandung, West Java, have experienced at least three anti-Chinese riots: in the 1960s, in the 1970s and in 1998.

We have seen the ugly, racist face of Indonesians. But we have also seen the kind face. What my parents mostly recall about the 1970s riot was hiding their toddlers under the bed, with their hearts pounding. They also remember a savior. He was a neighbor my father called Pak Haji (signifying someone who has done the hajj), who stood in front of our house and told the rioters and looters not to touch those “kind Chinese folks.”

Perhaps unwittingly, at the end of the day we choose to forget the ugly faces and remember the kind-hearted people instead.

I grew up believing in a multicultural Indonesia. I believe in the kind-hearted people who work at respecting differences. Spending my university years in Yogyakarta, an exemplary home to multiculturalism, only confirmed my belief.

So strong is that belief that the horrible 1998 riot did not dampen it. Instead, I saw Chinese-Indonesians overcome their fear and actually do things to fix the situation. Many of them timidly became more open, more involved. Some Chinese-Indonesians formed organizations which encourage their members to be more open.

In times of riot and trauma, we manage to look up and find the silver lining. Instead of clouds, I see the sun on the horizon.

But the news from Makassar, where last week students threatened to target Chinese-Indonesians, made me think again. I have probably been over-confident about the state of multiculturalism.

One student, Ibnu Hajar, told reporters: “They (Chinese-Indonesians) are newcomers, but they act how they like toward locals.”

I thought Chinese-Indonesians would never have to be called newcomers anymore. New what? Coming from where?

Not only in Makassar, but even in Jakarta, we still have to put up with the word Cina uttered not in a friendly tone but with suspicion. For example, my neighbor (he is the head of the neighborhood unit) once mentioned his disappointment about having a Chinese-Indonesian neighbor to my housemate.

A middle-rank police officer in Jakarta once told me he preferred pribumi (native) corruptors to Chinese-Indonesian corruptors.

Considering these prejudices, many of us have reason to put high fences around our houses. We have reason to be exclusive. Not that poor and middle-class Chinese-Indonesians like myself can afford exclusivity. Only the wealthy, just like rich people from other ethnic groups, can be exclusive.

But the government and the majority only seem to make half-hearted efforts to change our role as the scapegoats people blame every time they feel an economic pinch.

There has been no serious effort to rehabilitate our name in the history books. Just like any ethnic group in this diverse country, we’ve had our traitors, but we’ve also had our national heroes in the struggle against colonialism.

In my justified anger, I am telling you: as a group, we Chinese-Indonesians have collectively done a lot, given our limitations as a minority. We want a peaceful multicultural country where we can be equal Indonesians, and we have been working on it.

We have hunkered down for years. It is time for the minority to stand up and tell the government and the majority: we have done our part. And we want you to do yours…

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The Salsa Dance

Me gustas tu - Manu chao music video


Afraid of dancing in between the so-called good dancers? Don’t be. Not all of them are stuck-up and will actually contemptuous laugh you out if you doing the Salsa dance for the first time.

I’m not be experienced in Salsa dance. I love to dance and it’s so amusing to do it. If you have the change going to a Latin Party don’t hesitate to dance the Salsa and don’t think “that is not for me” or “I can’t do it, I don’t have the rhythm.” Try to dance and begin to start with...

Recommended Listening:
Tito Puente (The Legendary “El Rey”)
Oscar de Leon
Grupo Niche
Luis Enrique (Salsa romántico)
Marc Anthony (Salsa romántico)
DLG (Salsa romántico with a bit of hip hop influence)
Manu Chao

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

A Prayer of a Child


“Dear God, watch over my mum and dad,
And my little brother and my sister,
And my cat and me….

Dear God, and also watch over yourself….
If happens what to you,
Then we could be in big trouble.”

Monday, August 28, 2006

A Hug for You

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.

From the moment we’re born, we learn to love a hug. Hugs are the warmest, most cuddly bundle of love and happiness that you could even imagine receiving or giving, and there is never a moment in life when you can’t use a warm hug!

We need to get back to basics. We need to get back to hugging!

As we don’t know what’s around the corner, we must never put off until tomorrow, someone we could hug today!...

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Wishing On A Star


Just when you begin to think life is gonna get boring...

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Why to wear an underwear, or why not?

I’m obsessed with underwears, a boxershort or anything that keeps my crotch in place. Yesterday I bought 2 pairs of cotton low rise fit boxer. It was an offer on sale and I just thought, do I need them? I had more than 10 sets of not-a-really-old pairs but do you think I’m sick that I had to keep buying them? I am quite fond of boxershorts and besides being comfortable they are also very stylish.

Do you go for the brands? Do we buy and wear them because the ads catches our attention? What function does underwear serve for men or for women? Is it strictly a cultural thing? Does it offer any difference in hygiene, given you wear your pants only once?

Guys, what is your favorite kind of underwear to wear? If you are a girl what is your favorite kind of underwear to see on guys? Which ones do you think based on your taste, is sexier? A boxershort, a tanga, or the plain white classic underwear?

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Words of Wisdom from a friend

“Go for a walk, and breathe. Let the small things slide. Be kind to your loved ones. Create a space for yourself, and relax for a moment there each day. Give yourself permission to not be perfect and devote your time to only the people and things that matter most to you…”


Sometimes, someone touches our heart and stays there forever!

Every person in this life has something to teach me and as soon as I accept that, I open myself to truly listening. For everyone that makes you cry, there are three to make you smile, and a smile will last a long, long time, but a tear for just a little while.


*EVERYTHING YOU DO

by: Christian Bautista

I love the way you smile when I look in your eyes

I love the way you laugh when I try to be funny
And now the tears roll down your face
When I say no one could ever take your place

Cause baby when you sleep, I watch you breathing

And baby when you dream, I dream with you
Cause everywhere you are is where I wanna be,
It’s true everything you doMakes me know how much I love you

The way you touch my lips right after every kiss

And softly whisper that I’m your everything
The way you pray our love won’t die
Every night just before you close your eyes

Cause baby when you sleep, I watch you breathing

And baby when you dream, I dream with you
Cause everywhere you are is where I wanna be,
It’s true, everything you do
Makes me know how much I love you

I believe that some things were meant to be

As sure as there is love yours is meant for me

Cause baby when you sleep, I watch you breathing

And baby when you dream, I dream with you
Cause everywhere you are is where I wanna be,
It’s true everything you do
Makes me know how much I love you

Cause baby when you sleep, (I believe)

I watch you breathing
When I see you in my dreams, it’s in everything
And baby when you dream, (I believe)
I dream with you (when I see you in my dreams, it’s in everything)
Cause everywhere you are is where I wanna be (Oh, it’s true)
Everything you do makes me know how much I love you

Whenever I listening to this song, I suddenly think of those who loves me. I want to reach high for the stars that lies hidden in my soul. I dream deep, because for every dream, a goal begins.

Remember, relaxation and fun is the key…

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

From bean to kecap

Go to any warung or local restoran in Indonesia and you will see on the table various bottles of Kecap. This particular sauce is one of the most important ingredients used in Indonesian recipes. Kecap (Indonesian sweet soy sauce), also known as kecap manis, is a thick soy sauce sweetened with palm sugar. The sauce is very thick and dark in color. Made of a special type of soybean, the sauce is high in protein and nutrition. It’s used to flavor various hot and cold Indonesian dishes and is used as a condiment and marinade.

This sauce in widely available in most Asian Food stores in the Netherlands.My recommendation is to look for sweet soy sauce that has the following brand: Kecap Cap Bango or Kecap Manis ABC…

Friday, August 18, 2006

Always Remember (How to Stay Young)

Always Remember (How to Stay Young)
By George Carlin.

He wrote the following piece. Typically sharp and some good advice.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We have learned how to make a living, but not a life. We have added years to life not life to years! We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We have done larger things, but not better things. We have cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We have conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We have learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all, mean it A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

How to Stay Young

  1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
  2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
  3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever NEVER let the brain be idle. “An idle mind is the devil's workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
  4. Enjoy the simple things.
  5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
  6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
  7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, and hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
  8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
  9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
  10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Are You a Carrot, an Egg, or a Coffee Bean?

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what do you see?”

“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee.

The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity -boiling water- but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity?

Are You a Carrot, an Egg, or a Coffee Bean?
To the world you may be someone, but to someone you may be the world…


Thoughts:
“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.”

“The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.”

“The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.”

“When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.”

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Dream2catch 100

A hundred posts earlier, I started writing, full of high hopes and excitement. Beforehand, I had no idea what having a blog would be like and I doubted anyone but me, would read it. It surprised me. What have surprised me even more is the amazing friendships I have gained.

When I read that
first entry, and all the entries from since then, I can feel the energy pulsing through my words. I can feel the possibilities and the willingness to go into the unknown.

I remember how it felt to be so excited. I wrote sometimes two or three entries coming to me at once. Beyond forming new friendships, I feel one of the winning attributes of this blog, is that is allows me to look back on my life. So much has changed since then. I need to bottle that and keep it around for the days I want to crawl under the covers.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for leaving encouraging and heartfelt comments. Thank you for listening. Thanks to those of you who have been here since the beginning. Thanks!!!!….

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Food of the Poor

Some provinces of Indonesia are known as a center of rice production. If you ever go to a local market in Indonesia then you will notice the various types of rice, each with its own price. High-grade rice is naturally the most expensive.

But mostly of the farmers are facing the ironic situation that they cannot afford to eat it. The price that they pay for low-quality rice or medium-quality rice are increase in prices and finding it hard to even afford the low-grade rice.

Their financial situation is worse. They do not have money reservation enough and do not have skills other than planting rice, and no capital to open a food stall. So, they are feel forced, just enough to buy rice, which is then mixed with gaplek (dried cassava), tiwul (ground gaplek) or corn.

The government has actually provided assistance in the form of the cash aid program to each family once in three months, but it is still inadequate to meet their basic needs. The residents have also been provided with the “rice-for-the-poor” assistance, but must wait their turn for five months to obtain the government-subsidized rice.

Cassava and corn are a healthy alternative to rice for its carbohydrate value and has a social stigma as the “food of the poor”....

Monday, August 14, 2006

War is never an Answer

War is never an answer. War could be a temporary workaround, but it never solves the real issue. It’s just a quick cheap way to reach a temporary outcome, nothing more.

Israel - Palestine, Israel - Lebanon, U.S. - Vietnam, U.S. - the rest of the middle eastern countries, South Korea - North Korea, India - Pakistan, Japan - China, Japan - South Korea, and so many many more…

If we tried to trace back the cause of those wars, each side will say “they started it!” and pointing the blame at each other.

Mahatma Gandhi was right…

“An eye for an eye makes the world goes blind”

Thursday, August 10, 2006

How to be a Chinese-Indonesian

Being a Chinese-Indonesian is not the same as being a Chinese-Singaporean, or for that matter, being from mainland China or Taiwan.

Recently an Australian guy, married with a “native” Javanese woman and almost 27 years living in Indonesia, wrote an article about his Chinese-Indonesian friend which was married also a “native” woman.

…..I have a Chinese-Indonesian friend who is Muslim. He married a “native” woman. During the riots of in May 1998, I told him he was lucky that he could go anywhere safely, because he had successfully assimilated with the Indonesian majority.

His answer surprised me: “Nobody will ask about my religion or my wife,” he said. “People will look at my face and because I look like a Chinese, my religion and my wife will not save me from harm.”

My wife was discriminated against in terms of her salary. She earned less than her Chinese-Indonesian friend, just because they worked at a company owned by a Chinese-Indonesian businessman. My wife with more than five years’ experience at the company got only half the salary of her Chinese-Indonesian friend, who had worked for just a month at the same managerial level.

Once I read an article about indicators of social tolerance. According to the article, there are three degrees of social tolerance. The worst is when somebody does not tolerate the existence of anyone from outside his group. Such a person will try to banish “different” people if it’s not possible to make them the same as him- or herself.

In the case of religion, for example, somebody from a certain religion might say someone from another belief system will go to hell. Another, less extreme example is when somebody does not tolerate other people’s religious activities. A better level of social tolerance is when someone accepts the existence of “different” people. He or she may work together and cooperate with them, but cannot accept the “different” person becoming a family member, for example, through marriage.

The most tolerant people are those who not only accept “different” people, but can welcome them as family members. This group of people is the smallest. There are only a few people who can do that, and my experience shows that people like this are marginalized both by their own groups and their spouse’s groups. If you belong to this group, believe me, your life is more complicated than the lives of the other two groups.

We are born with differences. That is true. But some differences are significant for certain people, and some are not. We have to accept that. It is no use to claim equality among all those inherited differences, even by way of the law.

My experience proves that if you are not strong enough, you should keep your group identity as strong as possible. Assimilation and regulations cannot remove social discrimination from every corner of the world.

I have never regretted my decision to marry a Javanese woman, and I will not claim equal rights to citizenship. I am happy with that as long as everybody can accept my existence. If you are Chinese-Indonesian you will be better off going to a school where there are a lot of Chinese-Indonesians and working for a company owned by a Chinese-Indonesian. It will help you avoid a lot of discrimination.

The writer is a Chinese-Indonesian who married a pribumi (native) woman. Wijanto Hadipuro

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

What makes Indonesia, Indahnesia?

It’s pretty funny that lately, I don’t feel ashamed about my country of origin for its bad reputation for many stupid and chaotic things inside the country. Well, at least I don’t feel it as strong as I did. I also find it amazing that I can stand out all of sudden after I mentioned where did I come from and somehow from the way I look, people have always mistakenly thought that I came either from Japan.

Of course, after they knew, I still have to explain bout why do I’ve a different look than the majority of people in my country...and bring them to another story how my great grandparents came from another country. Long story short, after they knew, they give almost the same comments: “Ohh... it’s a pretty country, it’s very beautiful... You know, I’ve been there”. Or, “Really? Wow... that’s cool... I heard a lot about your country, I wish I can go there someday”...

I was born and grew up in Surabaya – Indonesia. As my other family, once we were part of the Indo-European community in Surabaya, which however does not necessarily make all my European ancestors from Dutch origin at all.

There are a lot of things to tell about Indonesia. Indonesia to me is, every morning woken by the unique sounds of “azan sholat subuh” (call to early morning prayer), cockcrowing, food sellers selling “roti” (bread) and other goodies, and the noisy of varied vehicles. Living in Indonesia you would never feel alone, you would be surrounded by relatives, friends, and neighbours. You would feel loved, needed, and cared for. People might ask a bit more than they need to know about you, but it’s just a way of “basa basi” (socializing).

Indonesian people are mostly warm and friendly and they are very easy to communicate with unless they can not speak English (the young people usually can speak simple English) or if not they will try to explain you in their own way which sometime it become a funny things to them and they laugh of it.

In suburbs where houses are built pretty close to each other, you can see mothers and young people hang out together in front of the house. They can talk about anything, from soap opera in television, recipes, family problems to politics. It’s culturally acceptable for neighbour to pop in at their house before they go off to the shop and have some lunch or coffee.

Another unique example will be trusting their kids to their neighbours while parents are going to work. There is childcare but for the most Indonesian people the price is not affordable.

I remember when people are getting married, they normally will have celebration in their house. Their neighbours will normally feel obligated to help them out. For instance, they can take part in decorating house, preparing food, and other things. People who are attending the wedding is normally in huge number. It ranges from 300 to 1000 people, depending on how big their budget is. Imagine that these things are not common in Westerner countries.

Indonesia is a big country and a rich one, with its abundant natural resources. Indonesia has always been a very important country for all of us because is one of the most populous countries in the world and it plays an important role in Asian politics. Those things make Indonesia potential to be the superpower country in the future.

The country has been encountering so many complicated problems. Riots, rebel, poverty, disaster (Tsunamis, earthquakes, land slides etc), lack of education for the Indonesian people, disease (bird flu) and the corruption in the departments and the abuse of power that caused the problem. There’re lots of things needed to solve forward...

But, it’s a beautiful country... And I know... one day, I’ll be back…

Friday, August 04, 2006

Learn to Be Happy..

Just sharing a good reflection piece delivered by Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Anna Quindlen, about things that really matter in life.

Lilies Of The Field -- by Anna Quindlen

I’m a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don’t ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree; there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account but your soul.

People don’t talk about the soul very much anymore. It’s so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is a cold comfort on a winter night, or when you’re sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you’ve gotten back the test results and they're not so good.

Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my profession stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the center of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends, and they to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cutout. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, or at best mediocre at my job, if those other things were not true. You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are.

So here’s what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger paycheck, the larger house.

Do you think you’d care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast?

Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze over Seaside Heights, a life in which you stop and watch how a red tailed hawk circles over the water or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a Cheerio with her thumb and first finger.

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted.

Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beers and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough. It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the color of our kids’ eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live.

I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly.

And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the Lilies of the Field. Look at the fuzz on a baby’s ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived.....

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Baalbek, Theatre of War

Had not the Nazis did what they did to the Jews, they would still be living in Germany and Poland. The reality of it all is this: Nazi Germany started this war in 1939.

Now, it is a world of trouble and woe for every single soul. These days, war isn’t about abiding by the rules. It’s anything goes. If Hezbollah fires missles at Israel, somehow, people feel it is justified. If Israel bombs buildings where Hezbollah is firing missiles and using civilian deaths for political gain, it is Israels fault.

It’s war, anything goes. Israel can bomb anything or anybody that they want. So can Hezbollah. There are no rules. The Geneva Convention is a mere nuisance that is in the way. It’s the twenty-first century schzoid world. All the rules are broken. Nobody counts anymore. That is the way it is.

The forgotten war in Iraq is just a preliminary cat fight for things to come. How much peace has there really been since 1914? Not much. Nine million soldiers died in WWI. It hasn’t stopped since then.

Humans are animals. They are content in killing each other. That is the brutal, harsh reality. It is a crazy hypocrite area, but that is not the decisive thing. The important thing during the decisive battles of the coming months and years is whether or not they can make people immune to such hocus pocus so that the enemy can no longer reach them. People must simply laugh at their doctrines and magic words.

A leader said once: “If you take an idol from people, you must replace it with a true god”. God is the wonderful law of creation, whose amazing unity of all things shows itself in wonderful flowers, in growing trees, in new born children, in the secrets of a mother, in the growth of the people, in work and accomplishment and creation, in life itself. It is the joy we have in everything. How beautiful everything is. Do you feel the same way? I am so happy to be alive...

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

The Differences between Women and Men

It is often said (usually by women) that men are inconsiderate, lack perception and sensitivity, and are not particularly observant (they are often downright obtuse and dense). It can be difficult to believe that women and men could be so different, not just on the physical level. I have never professed to being a master of understanding the female mind, but along the way you pick up a few thoughts and realise a few things about them that makes them tick differently to men.

One basic truth: women and men are different. So benefit from my knowledge, and maybe even use it to your advantage as I expose the non-obvious differences between women and men.
  • Women - toilet seat down, Men - toilet seat up.
  • Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
  • Women have a ready-made excuse to be cranky once a month.
  • Women fall in love, men just lust.
  • For men foreplay comes before fiveplay.
  • Both women and men think with their head, the man’s though is below his shoulders.
    Women want equality, men want to know what the hell’s going on!
  • How many females open the doors for guys? Or buy guys drinks?
  • Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
  • Good guys go home alone, bad guys go to prison.
  • Men have flu, women have colds.
  • Men don’t get headaches.
  • Women control the bedroom, ask any man.
  • Men are biologically incapable of letting a women light a barbecue.
  • Men warm their posteriors at the fire, women do not.
  • Women’s posteriors enable them to sit comfortably on the floor, men’s do not.
  • Women’s bank balances are never over-drawn, rather under-deposited.
  • A woman with credit card charges like bull.
  • Single-tasking men do one thing well at a time: e.g. drink a cup of coffee. In the same time a single-tasking women can make breakfast, make the children’s sandwiches, organize the window cleaner, phone the office, dress the children, write shopping list, iron a shirt and de-flea the cat. Women have not yet realised this is an evolutionary disadvantage.
  • Men drive to a party, women drive back.
  • Women drive like they’re in a funeral procession, men like they want to be in the coffin.
  • When a woman learns to understand a man she usually stops listening.
  • Marriage - a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master’s degree!
  • A woman never forgets the men she could have had, a man the women he couldn’t.
  • A man who regularly visits his mother is a Mummy’s boy. A women who does the same is a good daughter.
  • A man who has no difficulty in undressing an adult women will nevertheless prove iincapable of fitting a small child into a baby gown.
  • A woman believes that visitors will be impressed by a clean house. A man believes that the visitors will be impressed with his large stereo.
Interesting. Who knows? But I thought it was common knowledge that women love men who share. It wouldn't surprise me at all that there are many emotional and psychological complexities here, and hidden, unknown variables, as with so many issues regarding both men and women. Wherever the truth lies in all these matters, men and women will never totally figure each other out. And it seems to me that that’s the way God planned it; how things should be. Without mystery, life would be pretty boring…