Is It???

Is it the sound of her voice that makes my heart comes pounding into my throat and makes the blood rush through my head?

Is it in the smile on my face remembering something that she said and the way she said it? Is it the tingly feeling I feel in my fingers the first time I told her I was seriously thinking about her?

Is it a fact that a 30-year-old suddenly feels as awkward as teenager as she giggles at my most silly statements? Is it in the fact that another 30-year-old makes those silly statements to make me grin??

Is it in the way her voice deepens when she first said, “I really really adore you” in that charmingly hesitating way of her, as if worried how I might take it? Is it in the tongue-tied feeling I felt when I heard she say it?

Is it when our fingers gently brushed across the table at a coffee shop, when all your senses focussed on the person in front of you because the world around you has draw back into nothingness? Is it in the tenderness of her touch as she forgetfully tucked my hair behind my ears while she tells me about her day at work?

Is it in the way this petite woman runs across her living room to grab the phone when it rings before anyone else does because she thinks it might be me calling her? Is it in the warmth that burns in my face as she whispers sweet nothings in my ear across the line? And why do they call it sweet nothings, when it means everything to me?

Is it in the hours we can spend talking about nothing and everything?
Is it in the messages that she leaves on my messenger when I'm away so that instead of coming back to an empty message box & the first thing I see is her?

Is it in the trust that she inspired in me even before she meant anything more than what she is now?

Is it in the way she understands everything I have to say in a way that no one else has ever been able to? Is it in the way I can finish her sentences when she's hunting for the right words, and make her feel like she's understood in a way she's never been before?

Is it in the way we can bring our painful pasts to each other and have all the hurt soothed away? Is it the comfort that comes from the knowledge that I am safe with her? Is it in the self-assurance that comes from knowing that there are no expectations or alterations for now and hence we could never possibly let down each other?

Have I finally reached the harbour after all those wild, unpredictable years on a stormy ocean? And would anyone here know a right word to replace “It” here???